We’re really glad you got in touch. Dealing with a loved one’s gambling can be very stressful, and for households experiencing gambling harm, the festive season can be a time of increased worry rather than a celebration. 2024 GamCare research found that 3 in 5 people at risk of gambling harm are more likely to gamble at Christmas, and over half have spent money intended for seasonal purchases on gambling. Factors like the early December pay day, festive spending and sporting events can make this time of year particularly difficult, with high living costs creating additional pressure. Here’s what help is available for you and your family. 

First, it’s not unusual to feel anxious, angry or upset – charities like Ara Recovery for All offer dedicated support to ‘affected others’ who are impacted by someone else’s gambling. In Plymouth, Ara’s Community Engagement Lead Chaz Singh provides the opportunity for people to drop in and seek one to one support at the city centre’s Barclays Bank on Fridays – no appointment needed.   

If you’re feeling unsafe, this might be domestic or economic abuse, and you can get help to protect you and your children.

Second, as long as you feel it’s safe to do so, you could talk to your husband about ways to limit his gambling. Legally, gambling businesses must offer ‘self-exclusion’, which is when you ask a gambling company to stop serving you for an agreed period of time. If someone is allowed to gamble after they’ve self-excluded, they can complain to the Gambling Commission. If he’s gambling online, your husband could also use software to prevent him accessing gambling sites. Visit www.gamcare.org.uk/ to find out about free tools and different types of self-exclusion. Additionally, he can ask his bank to temporarily freeze his card or stop payments to gambling companies. 

Next, the Department for Work & Pensions and HMRC can split payments from any joint benefit claims you have with your husband, to protect your share of the money. You may also want to create a bank account that only you can access. 

Help is also available if you’re husband has built up gambling debts. If he’s borrowed money to gamble, for example by taking out a loan or overdraft, he might be able to get a partial refund. Give us a call on the adviceline number below to explore this option. 

Remember, it’s not your responsibility to repay these debts unless they’re in your name. If your husband borrowed money in your name without your permission, this is against the law and you still aren’t liable for the debt. You can report this to Action Fraud and get a crime reference number to give to the lender. If the lender agrees someone’s fraudulently borrowed money in your name, you won’t have to repay the loan and should be refunded anything you’ve paid already. You should also speak to the lender about what support they can offer if you were forced to take out a loan.  

If you have joint loans with your husband, speak to the loan company to explain the situation – they might give you more time to pay or say you don’t have to pay the whole debt. It’s especially important to do this if you and your husband jointly own your home and you’re behind on mortgage payments. 

Finally, don’t forget you can contact us for help to understand what debts you’re responsible for and your options for dealing with them, as well as information about support with living costs, which we understand can be a particular worry at this time of year. Get in touch today to find out how we can help, and for more information about any of the topics mentioned.